Almost 2 years later...

Well, the fact that I haven't blogged in almost 2 years is a blatant reminder of, hmmm, how can I put this tastefully..."challenging" 2011-2012 has been for me.  Anywho, I'm finally officially on the upswing and will return to my beloved Blog soon. Rest assured, although I haven't been blogging for 2 years, I have been jotting notes about blogs to write, so there is plenty to be said by me (I know, I know...you're holding your breath. You'll just have to hold it a little longer.)!
First up: Things You Should Never Say To OR Hear As...A Pregnant Woman, the memoirs of a formerly pregnant, forgives-but-always-remembers, kind-hearted informant to the niiave/ignorant one...woman.

Happy To Be Me

Ok, so how many of us believe this about ourselves?  Are you "happy to be you"?  I recently was thinking about all the things I am looking forward to this spring and summer: weddings, vacation, friend's birthdays, parties, book groups, family visiting, SUMMER in general, swimming with my daughter, etc...and I really was so elated to be living this life.  I feel the Father moving in my life in a way I haven't felt in years!  I am tangibly seeing His movement in my life.  He is giving me relationships that I've longed for, building my marriage and family, giving me the desires of my heart to love my husband and daughter and serve Him and them with my life.  I am beyond undeserving, and He is beyond good to me.  

As Spring approaches and brighter days, flowers blooming, and outdoor events begin, I feel so energetic and alive.  What a gift.  There were times in my life where I barely felt like I was breathing, much less living.  But looking back I am able to see my Father in the midst of my struggle, just as He promised He would be (Ps. 46:1-5).  And I remember praying...begging...God to let me be like the "river" described in verses 4 and 5:

 "There is a river whose streams make 

glad the city of God, 

the holy place where the Most High dwells.  

God is within her, she will not fall; 

God will help her at break of day."

I was craving the rush of life a river carries.  And this verse articulated the cry in my soul: To "make glad the city of God..."!  I only want to please the Father, and knowing I was created to live made barely breathing unbearable to me. 
Gently, slowly (more slowly than I would have preferred) the Shepard of my Heart is pouring life and movement back into this river and it is my choice to run with it or get dammed up.  I choose to run!  

So, today, I stroll with my daughter to the park, taking in all that He has given me: mountains, sunshine, a faithful husband, a beautiful daughter, opportunity, relationships with incredible human beings, a job, hope for the future...Sounds simple?  Ah, I long for simplicity.  I will drink that cup any day.

Green Smoothie

My blog is really beginning to reflect what goes on in my mind...I'm sure everyone has their own opinions of whether or not that is a good or bad thing! But, nevertheless, it is where I am at this point in my life.
Here's a little insight into how I decide to what to write about: I usually sit in front of the computer (praying MaryBella stays asleep long enough to make this blog make sense) and think about what is going on today in my heart or mind...or on my kitchen sink (like today's inspiration).  Then I say to myself, "Ok, would anyone be interested in that?" If the answer is "Yes!" then I continue on to the blog, if the answer is "Ummm, no", then I scour my mind...or living room floor for something more interesting.  
OK, on to today's topic: Green Smoothies.
My health-conscious brother and sister-in-law turned me onto the concept of THE green smoothie. (I think it was one of my brother's valiant attempts to make me more healthy-there have been many other attempts that have failed: flossing, working out, not swimming in chlorinated pools, etc...) But this idea, once shown the complete process, seemed to fit my lifestyle snugly. 
Basically (and when I say basically, I mean basically), the idea is that blending veggies and some fruit everyday will allow the nutrients, vitamins and "good stuff" to enter your system more quickly and be digested more completely-WOW! (in comparison to steamed, raw or frozen).



So all you have to do is:
1. Buy organic (or non-organic. Shhh, don't tell my brother) spinach, kale or any other green thing you see on the vegetable wall, blueberries, strawberries, bananas, carrots, etc...and Orange Juice, or yogurt.
2. Wash all your produce. (no need to trim, cut off tips, etc...)
3.  Start with 1/2 a blender full of spinach and add OJ or milk or water (your choice).  Blend.
4.  Add more spinach and other green things. Blend.
5.  Add fruit of your choice (and yogurt). Blend.
6. If you know what Flax seed is and desire to add this to your smoothie you may (I don't know why it is good for you, but supposedly it is).  Blend.
7. Pour yourself a nice little 8 oz. glass. And drink, NOT with the expectation of a Smoothie King smoothie, but that of an almost pure vegetable and fruit smoothie, because that's what you're gonna get!
TIP: You can use one or two green items for each different smoothie you make.  Mixing and matching veggies and fruit is good for getting different vitamins and nutrients.  Blend fruit in to your taste, but the less fruit and the more veggies the better. Optimum nutrients are preserved for up to 24 hrs after blending so DRINK UP!

I have now, over the last year, developed a taste for these "green" (but really purplish if you add blueberries) smoothies, but they still taste a little like dirt to me (I'm really convincing you to try one now, huh?) But let me just say, if you need a natural "push" in your digestive system, have trouble eating veggies (like MaryBella...and Tyrel), or if you just like to "feel" healthier (like me), these are definitely for you! 
Let me know if you were up to the challenge and tried this!  I'd love to know what you think of them!  I think everyone who reads this should at least try it twice (cause the second one will probably be better).

P.S.  I believe this has kept my immune system strong this flu/sick season and helped my energy levels stay up! You can check out a more detailed description on green smoothies here:  http://www.greenforlife.com/

Good luck and happy vegetable-drinking!

A Moment In Her New Shoes

She approaches the door, greatly anticipating all that God has waiting for her behind it, in the sisters who fill the room: who each one is and what each carries in her vat of experience.  Her heart is hopeful, daring to believe the Father is who He says He is and truly has unimaginable goodness in store for her. The door opens, she is embraced in full force with acceptance, warmth, hugs and hand shakes, smiles and laughter.  As she is ushered in with gentle guidance and finds her way to be seated she cannot hardly contain the growing excitement for the next hours of her life.  The unfamiliarity is refreshing and welcomed.  A swirl of emotions surrounds her, memories of a child-like freedom of "self", fully accepting who she is in this moment in time. She is unsure of what force would accurately represent her heart in this setting: Tears? Laughter? Singing? Squealing? Oh, how silly and comfortable this place is. "This must be what home feels like," she thinks. "Oh, God! Are you really doing this?  Is this actually happening? Finally...after all these years of yearning, asking...begging?....thank you."
An invitation to the Father is released: His presence, His prophetic voice, His heart.  At the first strum, her heart settles in a warmth of safety it has missed for more years than she can remember. "Yes! This is worship." She relaxes in her seat as she soaks in the melody of voices in unison lifting raw, unpolished, unpracticed offerings to the One who determines beginning and end.  Ah, the power of this moment.
Moving from song to speech, the warmth remains.  Her heart is expectant and slightly unnerved at the thought of pulling off one layer of the shell of her heart to be exposed and voiced.  As the room is circled, her unsettledness eases.  Shame and regret are foreign to this circle.  In their place is redemption and acceptance.  The marks of those who are loved and know it.  As she speaks her heart moves to her mouth and tears to her eyes.  Her words swarm around her head, and her eyes are met with empathy and love. The experience of her eyes is solidified by words of prophetic pictures and interjection of the Father's love.  Immediately her heart is more plump, filled to the brim; she feels more alive than she did 3 minutes before.  Unsure of what exactly just transpired, she whispers, "If this is what You had in mind, I receive it."   
Within a matter of hours the normalcy and the wretched paradigm in which she once developed her world around was changing...shifting...flipping upside down.  
She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes.  "I am ready," she whispered to the One who held her every moment, "I am ready for this."

A Buzz in My Brain

Well, sometimes there's an underlying "off" feeling I have when God is about to shake something up in me, or sometimes I get entangle in daily life and need something to kick me out of auto pilot: like summer...or a vacation, and SOMETIMES I get so excited days, weeks and months ahead of time for things I know will happen...and this is one of those times!
One of my dearest friends, Lisa will be getting married in less than 2 weeks in Texas.  I have the honor of standing in her wedding, and when I say honor, I mean privilege and delight and over-joyed gift.  She is a rare friend to have.  She has been supportive, understanding, forgiving, nurturing, genuine and a hilarious crack-up to me for almost 10 years now.  I seriously cannot wait for the 18th to come!
So, going to Texas to be in Lisa's wedding not only means I get a pedicure, to hang with my old blonde babe buds, play dress up, see one of my best friends enjoy the happiest time in her life so far! I also get to see my family...who will be watching MaryBella for me while I embark on wedding festivities.  Now...here is a truly  exciting detail for me, seeing as I have no immediate family in Colorado, the chance to let my daughter bond with some of the most important people in my life while I go PLAY is a rather huge feat in my world!
Needless to say (because I've already said way too much already), I am so anticipating my few days in Texas :) I hope times draws on slowly while I'm there.  I hope I get to see every person I want to see who wants to see me.  And I hope I am able to soak in every moment of friendship, family and wedding festivities as they come. And I hope I get to eat Taco Bueno at least one time.

All of this excitement makes me realize how truly thankful I am to the Father for friendship...deep, heart level friends that last a lifetime. And family, cause where there is family, there is home.  Much love to all my Texans...I will see you soon!

Setting the Pace for 2011

Well, it is frigid in Colorado. Frigid.  Like below 0 frigid. Brrrr.
But unlike the weather, I have made a delightful "New Year's Goal" that is much warmer.  It requires friendship, food, my home and a lot of seeing Jesus in people.  I decided after much apartment life, living in different states, having a baby and whatever other excuses I came up with it was finally time for me to do something I love doing: PARTYING! (plural for the verb: party (i.e. "Let's party!"))
I grew up with my mom throwing these wonderful potluck Christmas parties (I really have no idea what the adults were doing, I couldn't see past my all-encompassing excitement for playing with so many kids at MY HOUSE), where many entire families would come and talk, laugh, eat and pray.  Oh, how glorious it was!  It truly was my favorite time of the year.
So, knowing that I have been some what of a "social butterfly" since the age of...forever...I decided I would let my inner butterfly soar and have some parties at my house this year...and a lot of them! So far I have had 1 party and several different couples/families over for dinner, games and movies.  Oh, how I have enjoyed January!
Although there are some challenges/excuses that could easily keep me from letting my inner butterfly free, this is what I tell myself, "Listen: Yes, you need to clean a little more regularly...and cook some new things (which is always nerve-racking for me) and not get to wear sweatpants every night, but remember last time you did all those things? You loved it.  And you'll love it this time too! Do what you love!" And, thus, my excuses can hit the wind and I can be free to soar like the little social butterfly I am!

I don't know what your New Year's goals, resolutions, or dreams are, but whatever they are let's reject the excuses that tempt us with the comfortable, easy things and embrace the broader, more liberating zone of pushing the limits we create and soar like butterflies...or eagles...or a kite...whatever figure represents your life analogy (hopefully I'm not the only one who thinks like that...I probably am though).

Mucho Lovo in 2011...o!

P.S. When I looked up images of butterflies, they showed a lot of fish.  Ummm, b.u.t.t.e.r.f.l.y. not fish.

The 12 Loves of Motherhood

Recently I was thinking about how much I've learned in the last year...as a new mom...from my daughter.  So here's a snap shot of 12 things I have learned from my firstborn, MaryBella.

The 12 Loves of Motherhood:

1. Now I know what unconditional love truly is.  

Using my relationship and love for MaryBella as an actual, real life example, I am now attempting to wrap my mind around the God who loves me even MORE and wrap my will around loving others the same way.

2. Now I know what selflessness means.

There is something about being a mother that automatically draws you to another level of goodness.  Not in a prideful, self exuding manner, but in a literal "this new little person is of greater importance than me and completely dependent on me" kind of way...in every decision, in every situation. 

3. Now I know what time management really means.

There is no way to move forward in life without mastering this skill.  No way.

4. Now I know what being tired really feels like.

Not much explanation needed here.  I only want to add that it is the most fulfilling "tired" you could possibly imagine.

5. Now I know what it feels like to live with joy.

What a remarkable characteristic to have constantly floating around every stressful, hard, disappointing, and tragic circumstance that may intrude on a typical day.

6. Now I understand God as Father.

There is a part of God that I believe can only be truly understood through parenthood.  Understanding the characteristics listed here as a parent gives a realistic, tangible example of God's perspective of us.

7. Now I get what responsibility means.

What a weighty, unspeakable responsibility a child is.  And equally weighty and unspeakable is the reward that comes with good stewarding of that responsibility.

8. Now I understand my mother so much more.

There is a connection that is automatically knit between a mother and daughter when a grandchild enters the world.  This I cannot explain beyond the obvious: Now we walk in the same shoes.

9. Now I know how disappointment differs from rejection.

 I could never reject something so beautiful and precious as my daughter, but I am beginning to see how disobedience disappoints me. But even in disappointment, love is not an issue.  Love is always there, ready to cover the offense, not excuse it.  

10. Now I see what life to the fullest can be.

I know part of my calling is motherhood, and I have experienced a fulfillment in the deepest parts of me-parts I didn't even know existed- that warms me, drives me, encourages me, strengthens me.  

11. Now I understand God's design in a whole new way.

The beauty of marriage.  The glory of child bearing.  The joy of family.  The incredible design of relationship with earthly family...and relationship in the Kingdom of God.  

12.  Now I have felt the goodness of God.

It runs deep.  It is forever.  It is overwhelming.  It is beyond mental capacity.  It is felt, it is not known.  It is sovereign.

I am truly blessed.  If nothing else in my life ever made sense...the lessons (the gifts) I've received from having my daughter are enough for me to cry, "Abba, You are good!" for all my days.

Today, MaryBella is 13 1/2 months old.  God, thank you for trusting me with the most beautiful gift of my daughter.  Thank you for sustaining me in the hard moments and through the difficult days.  May you have all the glory and honor of my life and MaryBella's life.  Let your will be done in our lives and on the earth.